A Letter to My 21 Year Old Self

On money, identity, and the 30 cents you save on tomatoes.

A photo of me carrying some IKEA furniture to my apartment in Atlanta circa 2009

Dear Rohit,

It’s been a month since you stepped off that plane at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. You’ve settled into your apartment across the street from the IKEA and are getting used to life without your parents around you. You’ve left a lot behind but there is a lot to look forward to. I’ll try my best to not be preachy but here are some things I’d like you to consider as you begin your new life in a foreign country.

You are more than your grades

India prized your ability to memorize things and get good grades and you were damn good at it. You were also intellectually curious and wanted to learn a lot of things outside what was important in class but you always let the former take priority because doing well in school was a non-negotiable. There was seemingly no other path in life because if you didn’t do well in academics, your opportunities would have been limited. But that’s not true at all. The world handsomely rewards intellectual curiosity but more than any external reward, learning for its own sake will make you a better person. Cultivate your ability to think from first principles because that will serve you well no matter what you do.

Collect Stories, Not Just Credentials

Your socially conservative upbringing has taught you that the default answer to any new suggestion is no. Reject this mentality and learn to say yes. Saying yes to new experiences will lead to immense personal growth. While you are in the US to earn a degree, the world won’t care too much about your credentials beyond a point. Increase your surface area of serendipity by defaulting to “Yes, and…” instead of “No, because….”. Remember, if things don’t work out, you will have a great story to tell so pursue the path of the story-teller.

Stop Think About Exchange Rates

You carry a large weight on your shoulders because you are constantly converting the dollars you spend into rupees and what that means for your parents’ finances. The typical Indian mindset of constantly saving and never spending is because of generations of want and poverty. Your parents and grandparents did enough to break out of that cycle.

Stop obsessively tracking every dollar you spend and compromising on your food because it is unhealthy and in the long run, the 30 cents you save on tomatoes isn’t going to matter. It’s a far better use of your time to understand personal finance, how compound interest works, and how to earn, invest and grow your money. Money won’t solve all your problems or bring you happiness but having it will make your life easier. And your parents are fine. They have planned for this for a long time. You can do the same for your kids and that’s the best way to pay your parents back for their sacrifices.

Don’t hold on to your identity

Identity is not a fortress to protect but a river to follow. What you feel is inalienable to your self is a combination of your circumstances, generational memory and what you know to be true as of now. The world changes with time and so does the knowledge that you accumulate. Your old self melts away just like the snow in sunlight, to be replaced by something new and better. Embrace the fact that change is the only constant and learn to reforge your identity when you integrate new information. Just try your best to not be a jerk (Knowing you, and myself, this is the hardest challenge of them all).

Nobody is Thinking About You (And That's Amazing)

You’ve spent far too long worrying about what people think. They don’t care about you. Everyone is focused on themselves. How often do you think critically about someone’s life choices that you disapprove of? It’s the same for you. People are free to like what they like and dislike what they don’t. It doesn’t make them better or worse than you. Keep doing what you like as long as you are not harming others.

I could say a lot more but I’ll leave it at that. You are capable of far more than you believe and I would like you put that theory to the test.

Love,

Future you.

P.S. In a couple of years you’ll hear about this esoteric thing called Bitcoin. Buy a fuckton of it and keep it safe. All your future generations will thank you for being ahead of the curve on this one!