Do The Hard Things

Doing hard things might radically transform your life

Every year, hundreds of Japanese people undergo a purification ritual called “Misogi”. This is a practice rooted in Shinto beliefs where participants immerse themselves in icy water, symbolically washing themselves of any sins they may have accumulated.

I first encountered this term not in a book on Shintoism, but, in true millennial fashion, in a YouTube video by the entrepreneur Jesse Itzler. He takes this ancient ritual and interprets it quite differently as a framework for growth. His concept of “Misogi” is doing something so hard for one day of the year that it has an impact on all the other 364 days of that year. You put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that you never thought you could do, and go out and do it. But there’s a catch - It has to be something really hard, and there needs to be a good chance of failure.

As I reflected on this, I thought about some of the hard things that I have done over the past few years. I’ve navigated the death of a parent and dealt with the chaos of COVID lockdowns in India; made a rather terrifying leap from a quietly comfortable job (that was admittedly going nowhere) into the high pressure world of tech; bought a home; became a father for the first time; and ultimately, moved my entire family to a new country, leaving the comfort and dissatisfaction of life in America's immigration purgatory behind.

Many of these things were unplanned, but a lot of them required careful thought and sustained effort along multiple dimensions. I’d also argue that everything I have learned has been in preparation for the curveballs that life threw at me. Each of these challenges, in its own way, was an act of building a new Third Space.

And if you truly reflect on life, you will realize that you too have achieved some extraordinary things. Not every accomplishment is visible or splashy, nor does it need to be measured in very concrete terms. Monetary achievement is a very American view but life is about so much more.

There is nothing wrong in avoiding something that feels difficult. Maybe you have life circumstances that are so hard in themselves that surviving itself is a win. But for most of us, consciously embarking on a difficult quest has the potential to radically alter the course of your life. At the very least, I am sure it would add to your joie de vivre. You might fail but that’s the point. True growth happens when you dare to step outside your comfort zone and in the messy spaces between the past and the future.

So the natural question is, what’s my Misogi for 2025? And the answer to that is I want to achieve at least a B2+ level in French by April 15, 2026. I will measure this by taking the TEF exam by this date and will share the results. Now this is an extremely ambitious timeline because the recommended time needed to reach this goal is around 700 hours of instruction. With parenting, a full time job and all the unplanned nonsensical and wonderful things that life throws at us, there is more than an even chance that I will fail.

But it’s a worthwhile challenge because it is a straightforward path for me to take my family out of immigration limbo. But more than that, learning a new language opens doors that one never even knew existed and exposes one to different ways of thinking. And I do have some things going for me. I have been a slave to Duolingo’s streak mechanism for around 2 years so I am not starting from scratch. And perhaps the constant Tamil-Hindi-English-Marathi code-switching of my life has given me a head start. I’m hoping that muscle memory is still there.

Of course, I plan to keep you posted on my successes, trials and tribulations. And I would love to know, what’s your Misogi for this year?